


I Lost Who We Are

by richietoaster



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mentions of Sex, SORRY YALL, Sad Ending, Soul Bond, Soulmates, everyone thinks that eddie isnt real lol, literally just the word, not descriptive, um
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-08-04 08:19:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16343234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/richietoaster/pseuds/richietoaster
Summary: Richie frowns, “You can go home if you want to. I won’t be mad at you.”“I don’t want to. I like hanging out with you. I don’t know, it’s weird..” Eddie looks up at the sky as if he’s trying to think about how to word what he’s trying to say,  “You know how magicians, like.. Pull a rabbit out of their hats?”Richie nods. “I love magic! The card tricks are always cool-io.”“Yeah.. I’m the rabbit. I appear. And it’s like you’re a magician.”“I don’t think I understand.”Eddie shrugs, “I don’t think I do, either."





	I Lost Who We Are

**Author's Note:**

> ao3 keeps crashing and this is the fourth time ive typed this so lets goooo
> 
> tags are there for a reason people!!!! sad ending!!! major character death!!
> 
> also thank you to my lovely Ari for beta ing this!! i love youuuu

Richie had always been a late bloomer with everything. He didn’t get his first tooth until almost a year old. It took him until the age of four to be completely potty-trained. Richie didn’t let go of his binky until he turned three, when the family doctor demanded that his parents toss it.

Now, making friends might just come naturally, but the kid is almost seven and still has yet to make one. Maggie Tozier, his mother, is in a book club. She has a few friends with kids that are Richie’s age, but everytime she mentioned a play date to him, he would tell her that he’s not interested. Even at a younger age he’s blunt. 

It’s the first Tuesday in October of Richie’s first grade year when he sees a boy his age looking lost on the playground.  _ Maybe he’s new,  _ Richie thinks,  _ I’ll go show him around! _

“Hi there!” Richie chirps, “I’m Richie. Are you new? You look new. What’s your name?”

“I.. I don’t know where I am.”

Richie cocks his head to the side and squints, “What do you mean? I always know where I am. Well, where I live. My mommy told me to always remember my address.” Richie rocks on the balls of his feet and begins to recite where he lives, “Eight- Six- Six, Ladimer Road, Derry Maine, one- five- one-”

“You shouldn’t do that, you know!” The boy covers his ears quickly, “You’re a stranger!”

“I’m not strange. I’m  _ cool.  _ Besides, I already told you my name. It’s your turn, silly.”

“M’Eddie..” The boy kicks at the pebbles in the ground and stretches out his hand for Richie to shake. When Richie goes to clasp it, it goes right through.

“Woah,” Richie says. “That was awesome-sauce!”

“Yeah, that was!”

“So, what’s your favorite superhero?” Richie asks. Anyone older with more understanding of life would know that what had just happened is  _ not  _ normal. But, these are two six-year-olds. Of course they wouldn’t question a damn thing that happened. Everything is  _ awesome-sauce  _ to them. 

* * *

  
  


“Mommy, I made a new friend today!” is the first thing that Richie says when he gets off the bus stop. “Do you want to meet him?”

“I sure do, sweetie!” Maggie holds out her hand to her son, who gladly takes it, “When do I get to meet him?”

“He’s right here!” Richie exclaims. He turns around but there’s no one behind him. “He was just here..”

“Oh!” Maggie nods, like she gets it, “Hi, dear, what’s your name?”

Richie blinks at her.

“That’s such a cool name!”

“No, mommy, he’s not there. Who are you talking to?”

Maggie gives Richie a look, “Your friend!”

Richie looks around and shakes his head, “He’s gone, he was here, but now he’s not.”

“Well, I could meet him another time then. Let’s go inside and do your homework together. What did you learn today?”

“Long division!”

Maggie sighs. “Great. My favorite.”

* * *

  
  


“Can I tell you a secret?” Eddie asks the second time Richie sees him.

“Yeah,” Richie says casually, stuffing his mouth with fruit snacks from his lunch.

“I think that I’m lost.”

“Why do you keep saying that?”

“Because I’m home-schooled. I shouldn’t be here, Richie.”

Richie frowns, “You can go home if you want to. I won’t be mad at you.”

“I don’t want to. I like hanging out with you. I don’t know, it’s weird..” Eddie looks up at the sky as if he’s trying to think about how to word what he’s trying to say,  “You know how magicians, like.. Pull a rabbit out of their hats?”

Richie nods. “I love magic! The card tricks are always cool-io.”

“Yeah.. I’m the rabbit. I appear. And it’s like you’re a magician.”

“I don’t think I understand.”

Eddie shrugs, “I don’t think I do, either.”

* * *

  
  


The first time Eddie shows up at Richie’s house is in late November when Richie is outside, drawing on the sidewalk with chalk. 

“Hiya!”

“Eddie! How did you get here? Did your mom drive you?”

“Um.. no. I don’t know.. What’re you doing?”

Richie looks at his picture, “I’m trying to draw a dog.”

Eddie laughs, “That’s a dog?”

“That was mean.”

“I’m sorry. It’s a great.. Dog?”

“It’s okay,” the curly-headed kid beams, “and I know, right? Do you want to draw, too? I only have pink, purple, and green. If that’s okay. I lost the rest.”

“Sure!” Eddie picks up the green chalk and begins to color on the cement. Maybe if Richie were older he would question why Eddie can touch the chalk but not his hand.

* * *

  
  


*****

 

Richie is twelve years old when he meets a girl. Not  _ a  _ girl, but just a girl. She introduces herself as  _ Beverly Marsh, certified-bitch, but Bev for short. _

Bev brings out the outgoing side of Richie Tozier, something his family says he’s been lacking for as long as they can remember. His parents are happy, because that’s his only friend as far as they’re concerned. Maggie’s husband, Wentworth, tells her that it’s okay that Richie has one good friend, because that’s all he needs. This inevitably starts an argument between the two.

 

_ “Went! It’s not normal for a tween to only have one friend! And who is a girl!” Maggie shouts, “I mean, there’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but when I was his age I had a whole group of friends! You can’t tell me that you didn’t either.” _

_ “Yeah, I did, but Richie’s different- a  _ **_good_ ** _ different, Mag. Give the kid a break. He’s going through changes. We don’t exactly know what’s goin’ on inside his brain. He’s probably shy! He’s been this way since pre-school. Richie’s never wanted to make a lot of friends. Besides.. What about Eddie?” _

_ “Have we ever met Eddie?” _

_ “Well.. No, but-” _

_ “That’s because he’s imaginary. Imaginary friends don’t count, Went. He needs to get rid of Eddie. He should’ve stopped having them years ago.” _

 

Richie overhears all of it when it goes down. He’s a little upset because Eddie can’t.. He just  _ can’t  _ be imaginary.. All of their interactions feel too real to be like that. And, yeah. Maybe they can’t exactly touch, but that is normal, right? Richie’s starting to get curious. 

“Bev, have you ever had an imaginary friend?”

“Yeah, dude. Hasn’t everyone?”

“I guess so.”

“Why’d you ask?” Bev tucks her knee under her chin and chucks a rock across the quarry.

“You’re my first real friend, since.. My.. imaginary?” It comes off as a question. “Fuck, I don’t know, Bev. It’s all so weird. It’s like.. He’s there. But nobody else can see him. And I know what you’re going to say but please just hold off for a sec.. Just hear me out..”

Bev laughs, “Your explanations aren’t helping you.”

Richie shushes her. “Anyway.. Like.. I met him when I was in first grade. And he still sees me everyday. He doesn’t know how but he does. He always says he doesn’t know he got to me and all that shit.”

“Sounds like your brain making excuses because it created him out of nowhere. It’s trying to make sense of itself.”

“But.. he can pick up things and touch things and-”

“-But can he touch you?”

Richie snorts. Bev gives him a look. “Okay, sorry, sorry.. No.. he can’t. We’ve tried like.. Doing handshakes and highfives but.. Nothing.”

“Do you think that it’s just your brain not knowing how to let him go?”

 

Later on that night, he googles _what is a_ _friend that you can see and hear but nobody else can see and you can’t touch them._ The results that come up are all about mental disorders and paranormal experiences. Nothing about imaginary friends. _So, I’m either crazy or my best friend is a ghost,_ Richie laughs, _I can work with that._

* * *

 

It’s hard to work with. Especially when he shows up at Richie’s school and everyone makes fun of him because  _ Richie Tozier is almost thirteen years old and still has imaginary friends!  _ He’s glad he gets Eddie to leave before he hears what everyone says about him. Eddie doesn’t deserve to have all of that shit said about him and it upsets Richie because he can’t defend Eddie without having to defend himself after the consequences of sticking up for his friend. Imaginary or not. 

 

Bev finds Richie hiding under the slide on the playground.

“Only babies still use this, you know.”

“Makes sense why I’m here then, doesn’t it?” Richie retorts.

“Relax, I was joking. You want to tell me why you’re hiding?” Bev sits next to him and puts her arm around his shoulders. “Talk to me.”

“I didn’t want them to see me cry.”

“Who?”

“All of them. Everyone.. They were laughing at me.. Mocking me..” Richie sniffles. “I couldn’t take hearing what they had to say about Eddie.”

“He really means a lot to you, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah,”  Richie says after a minute. “He does.. And my parents think I’m a loner, you know? Everyone else just thinks I’m flat out fucking crazy. I don't blame them, though. Nobody will ever understand.”

 

* * *

  
  


*****

 

Richie believes that Eddie is a ghost. He’s fourteen now, and still can’t touch him. He’s never brought up the night he researched about what Eddie could be to Eddie. It might be just a tad bit rude to accuse a ghost of being a ghost, but he’s gonna have to confront him sooner or later. He chooses later.

 

Richie and Bev are at the quarry, sharing a cigarette, when she first brings it up.

“How’s it feel to be in love with a ghost?”

“Listen, asshole, I’m not  _ in love  _ with him.” Richie pushes at Bev’s shoulder, making her laugh. “I don’t even  _ like-like  _ him.”

“Don’t lie to me. I don’t even know what he looks like, but he’s supposedly made an appearance twice around me and you look at him.. Well, assuming he’s there, because I can’t see him.. Like.. like he’s Jesus or some shit. You like him.”

Richie sighs and runs a hand through his hair, “It’s totally weird, isn’t it?”

“Yes.” Bev watches Richie glance at her in a ‘ _ hey-what-the-fuck?’  _ kind of way. “Hey, I’m not gonna lie!” They’re quiet for a few moments until Bev looks at him. “I mean, I guess you could always try to be with him.”

“And how do you suppose I do that?”

“Talk.. Lay together.. Adopt a dog or whatever.. Not ever touch.. Or talk in public.. Or get married..” Bev stops herself and shakes her head, “Yeah, I’m sorry, I don’t know how you’d work around that whole  _ love-of-my-life-is-invisible-to-everyone-else  _ thing.”

“Don’t forget about the part where I can’t touch him.”

“That, too.” Bev inhales the smoke from the small-bud now, flicking the butt into the water below, “Dude, you got it rough.” 

“Tell me about it..”

* * *

  
  


Richie’s doing his Algebra homework when Eddie appears in his room.

“Hey, stranger.”

“I was beginning to think that you weren’t going to magically appear in my room in the ungodly hours of the night again.” Richie smiles and bites the eraser of his pencil, “How do you do it?”

“You ask me this every time, and each time I tell you the same thing: I don’t know, Rich. I just think about you and suddenly I’m with you.” 

_ Totally a ghost, _ Richie thinks. “Why can’t I do that?”

“Have you ever tried?”

“.. No.”

“Maybe you should.” Eddie walks closer to where they could share the same breath. He tries to touch Richie’s shoulder. “I don’t get it..”

Richie swallows, “I don’t either.”

“This should be impossible.. Like, how is this..? It’s not like this with my other friends.”

“Can you touch them?” Richie asks.

“Yes. I can.”

“Can you.. Teleport to them?” He almost wants to laugh at his question.

Eddie sighs. “No, I can’t..” He gets the words caught in his throat. It comes out as a whisper, “It’s just you.”

“It’s just me..”

* * *

  
  


*****

 

Richie has tried to research every word combination he could that describes his and Eddie’s friendship. But everything comes up the same as his first search at twelve. He’s sixteen now and he’s come to conclusion that his best friend is a ghost, and that today’s the day he’s going to ask Eddie about his death. 

 

Richie anxiously awaits for Eddie’s arrival. It’s eleven O’Clock at night and he’s late. Eddie’s two hours late. The more he thinks about Eddie, however, the more the room changes around him. Richie doesn’t notice this until he’s standing in Eddie’s bedroom. Eddie and his mother are arguing and he seems pissed.

“What the fuck?” Richie says loudly. It makes Eddie jump and turn around. 

Eddie’s mother tilts her head, confused, “Eddie-bear, what are you looking at?” 

“Nothing.. I-I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to make you mad.. I think.. I think I want to go to sleep.”

“It’s okay, sweetheart. I know you teenagers can be angsty sometimes.. Just don’t ever speak that way to me again..” The two watch Eddie’s mother leave and shut the door behind her.

Eddie turns to Richie again, “What are you doing here?”

“I don’t know! You were supposed to show up at my house at nine and then you never did!”

“So you came here instead?”

“I don’t even know how I did that, to be honest. I’m the most confused as I’ve ever been in my life and what I needed to talk to you about doesn’t exactly help the situation.” Richie looks at his fingers as a distraction, and begins to fiddle with them. 

“Are you okay?”

“No,” Richie shakes his head. “Well, yes. But.. I don’t know.. None of this makes sense. None of it ever has and it’s always been you but now it’s me too, and I-”

“Spit it out, Rich.”

So, he does. Says it quickly, like ripping off a band-aid,“Eds, when did you die?”

The room is suddenly very quiet. He’s never seen Eddie this quiet.

“What the fuck are you on about? I don’t know about you, but I’m very much alive, thanks.”

“Okay, then explain the appearing out of nowhere! Or.. or nobody else being able to see or hear you but me! Tell me that. Tell me why I can’t touch you, tell me why you always mentioned about being lost when we were younger. You can’t do it, can you?” Richie folds his arms, “I didn’t think you could.”

“I don’t know, okay? I don’t  _ know! _ I’ve told you so many god damned times that I’m just as confused as you are and I understand why you think I’m not real or something but I just need you to believe me, Richie! I believe that you’re real. That you are in the flesh and can touch other people just like I can. Neither of us can explain this phenomenon but it’s happening and-” Eddie’s voice finally cracks, “fuck..”

Richie sees a tear slide down Eddie’s cheek and he feels bad now. He sits on the bed next to Eddie and puts his head in his hands. “I’m sorry.. I’m just trying to make sense of all of this.. I didn’t mean to make you upset. I believe you. I’m sorry.”

The following events go something like this: Eddie stays still for another second before going in to put his head on Richie’s shoulder. He usually can’t. Which is why when his head comes in contact with his friend’s body, they’re shocked. Richie jumps up so far into the air that he ends up punching Eddie in the face and gives him a bloody nose.

“Holy- wait, fuck are you okay? Holy shit. Am I? Did that-”

“Yes, you asshole.” Eddie tilts his back and walks over to his desk, grabbing tissues out of the box that sits on the edge of it.

Richie waits until Eddie’s nose is clear of blood before asking again, “Can we try that again?”

“What if we can’t?”

“There’s no harm in trying.. Can I.. Can I hug you?” Richie asks and steps closer to the smaller boy.

“Yes..” Eddie nods. He mutters under his breath,  _ “Please, god.. Please let this happen..”  _

Richie’s arms wrap around Eddie’s torso, but he doesn’t try to touch yet. He hovers, but when he finally squeezes as tight as he can- they’re  _ touching,  _ and Eddie’s crying. They both are. Eddie’s arms are around Richie’s neck, gripping as tightly as he’s being held. 

“I’ve waited so long to hug you,” Richie whispers in his ear.

This newfound discovery isn’t permanent, however, because as quickly as it happened, their bodies are meeting air again. Eddie cries harder than he did when they were able to touch. 

* * *

 

*****

 

Richie is eighteen when he finds out about  _ rare  _ types of soulmates. Sure, he knew that soulmates existed. His parents were bonded by matching tattoos that appeared on them at birth. His aunt and uncle had a countdown embedded into their wrists that said how long they had until they met the soul whom they’d love forever. He knows Bev’s grandparents had the first words that they spoke to each other branded onto their skin the moment they were said out loud. But, he wasn’t expecting Bev to throw his door open on a cold, Monday night in January to tell him that he and Eddie are soulmates. It makes him feel warm inside.

“What are you talking about, Red?”

“I mentioned you to my grandma the today. I told her about your friend Eddie and- oh, god, Richie. I’m not sure if you’re going to love or hate this.. She knows exactly what’s going on.”

Bev throws a stack of paper onto Richie’s bed. When he picks it up, there are dozens of articles. He reads some of the headlines,“ _ ‘Soulmates between universes’, ‘Bonded Souls: why your partner could be light years apart’, ‘creepy, cool, or depressing: soulmates can be bonded and never connecting due to this phenomenon-’ _ Bev, what the fuck does this mean?”

“You and Eddie are soulmates. His soul and yours are bonded between two different universes. That’s why nobody can see or hear you when you’re with him, and nobody can see or hear him when he’s around. Because, he’s not technically there. To you, yes, but to everyone else it’s like he’s nonexistent..” Bev picks up another article. “Look. Read this.”

“I don’t understand..”

“Eddie and you have bonded souls. Do you understand that much?”

“Yes. Skeptical, but yes..”

“He doesn’t exist in our timeline. But, because you two are soulmates, you can interact with him and see him. You can’t touch him because he is light years away. That’s the bad news to this.. You two can never physically be together.”

“We hugged once.”

“My grandma says if there’s enough energy radiating off of someone, they can touch their soulmate- but not for very long.” Bev rubs at her forehead, “That’s a lot of information to take in, isn’t it?”

“Too much.. I have to tell Eddie.” 

Bev grabs his hand, “You should take a day to process this before you say anything.”

“Why? He- I need- He.. We..”

“You can’t even form sentences right now. Wait a day or two until you can put it into your own words. Take the articles with you.”

Richie exhales deeply, “Okay.. okay, yeah. I can do that.”

* * *

  
  


When the day comes that Richie decides to talk to Eddie about it, he hopes that they radiate enough energy again so that they can hug a second time. He knows it’s very unlikely, but he likes to have hope. 

Richie thinks hard. He thinks about Eddie and how much he wants to see and be with him and talk to him and-

“Oh, hey, Rich. I was actually just about to come see you.”

Richie wants to laugh because this is all totally unreal to him. How cool would it be if everyone could just think about their soulmate and suddenly be there? Cooler if they could touch, he supposes. He’ll take what he can get.

“We need to talk.”

Eddie’s playful grin turns serious, almost afraid, “Is everything okay?”

Richie hands over the articles. He watches Eddie shift through them, a confused facial expression present on his face. 

“Is this saying what I think it is? Are.. are we..?”

Richie chuckles, “At least you got it quicker than I did.. Bev had to like, thoroughly explain it to me.”

“I love you,” Eddie blurts out. “I’ve loved you since I was fourteen.”

“Bev’s been teasing me about you since I was twelve.. I got you by two years, Eds.”

Eddie sighs, “This kinda sucks though, doesn’t it?”

“It does.”

“Do you.. Want to try this, though?”

Richie swallows, “Try.. us?”

“I know it’s going to be hard and almost undoable.. But I want this. And.. And I just  _ knew  _ that our connection wasn’t.. I knew there was something between us..” Eddie smiles and reaches out for Richie’s arm. It only falters for a moment, when they don’t come in contact with one another.

“I.. want to try, too.”

* * *

 

*****

 

Richie and Eddie have been together for three years. In that amount of time, they were miraculously able to touch four times. The third time lasted hours, and that was when they were twenty; over a year ago. They kissed frantically, trying to get the most of it in. That was also the first and only time they were able to have sex. Nothing has been the same since. They know each other’s lips and bodies well enough that they could map it out in their heads. 

Which is why it all leads up to Richie feeling like they’re not supposed to be together. It’s ironic, because they’re literally soulmates. It’s the whole not being able to touch thing. Richie can’t wait on it happening in a blue moon. He’s cried to Bev many times about it, and she’s been there for him every step along the way. He feels like he’s depressed. He might be, though. Everyone thinks his boyfriend doesn’t fucking exist. Well, the only person who knows is Bev.. but if he told anybody else he knows they’d think he’s crazy. And, that might be the thing: he wants people to know. He wants to show Eddie off in public but he’ll never be able to do that.

What’s the point of having a soulmate if they can never actually be together?

What’s the point of him even being alive if he can’t ever have a family? Richie could always break up with Eddie and get another boyfriend or girlfriend. They could always start a family. But, Richie knows that Eddie will always be a part of him. Eddie will always linger and can show up whenever the fuck he wants and that’s.. That’s not exactly what he wants if they wouldn’t be a couple anymore.

Richie makes the decision to take his life the day after his twenty-first birthday. He doesn’t tell anybody about it. But, he writes letters. Apology letters. To Bev, his parents, and Eddie. He also writes a love letter to Eddie. He writes about how much he loves them and how much he cherished every second they were able to physically touch. He also explains how that isn’t enough. He writes what good parents they could’ve been. About the house they could have owned and the family they could have started, if only.. If only they met in different circumstances. 

After all the letters are signed and dated, Richie goes to his bathroom cabinet and takes multiple pills of different medications, anything that he could find. For a split second, he thinks that maybe he shouldn’t do this. He thinks about how everyone who loves him, how they would feel after he died. He’s sympathetic, and he adds in his letters to not be too sad or anything, although he knows they will, but now he can’t change his mind. He just hopes that Eddie doesn’t show up. Richie doesn’t know what would happen if he did. Would Eddie be able to get help? He knows that Eddie would try his hardest. That energy alone could probably bring him back to life. 

But that doesn’t happen. Eddie doesn’t show up and Richie does not get brought back to life.

* * *

  
  


Eddie is ecstatic to hear the news when he wakes up. There’s been some sort of  time traveling machine, or a teleportation device made- hell, he doesn’t know- that can let the  _ rare  _ soulmates go through, and be together. He wasn’t the first one to buy it, but he put down all of his life savings in front of some official-looking person in the plaza where it was revealed, and told him to take his money in exchange for that device. 

It’s a small clicker, and Eddie thinks it looks almost like a cat-laser. He reads the directions. All he needs to do is scan himself with the laser and press the button and he’ll be admitted into the timeline of his soulmate. The box says that the device somehow tricks the way the magnetic fields of world. Eddie doesn’t really care. He closes his eyes and thinks of Richie. When he opens them, he’s in a funeral home.  _ Richie didn’t tell me someone died,  _ Eddie thinks. He wanders around, getting stared at-  _ it’s actually kind of nice-  _ but given the circumstances, he feels bad for being way underdressed. 

Standing at the casket are a group of people, and Eddie sees one person in particular that stands out- her hair is bright red, and he knows Richie has talked about her before.

“Beverly?”

She turns around and walks to him slowly, “Hi.. Do I know you?” Yet the second she utters her question, she thinks she knows. No, she  _ knows.  _ “Wait.. Please tell me you’re not Eddie..”

“Yes, actually.. I assume you saw the amazing news?”

Beverly’s face pales and she begins to cry, “I have..” She engulfs him into a hug, “Eddie.. I’m so sorry.. He.. It wasn’t.. You can’t be mad at him..”

“What are you talking about?” Eddie watches her eyes advert to the casket and Eddie’s heart drops.

“Tell me that’s.. Tell me that it isn’t..” He trails off in fear.

“I’m sorry.”

Eddie wants to run but his legs carry him as slow as ever, bracing himself for what he dreads, for what he knows he is about to see.

Richie lays peacefully. Beautiful as ever. Eddie cries. He slides down to his knees and leans his head against the wood, letting out a heart-wrenching sob. Beverly wraps her arms around her best friend’s boyfriend. 

“No.. no.. Why are you so stupid? Why couldn’t you have held on? Why.. why?”

“I don’t think you could have stopped him, Eddie.. He was dead set on doing this..” Bev wipes her own tears away and kisses Eddie’s shoulder.

“How do you know?”

“Richie wrote letters. Two of them were addressed to you. Do you want to see them?”

“Not right now,” Eddie says.

“Okay.. I understand.. That’s okay,” Beverly says through her wrecked voice.

_ But it’s not okay, _ Eddie thinks. It never will be.

**Author's Note:**

> please give feedback and come say hi on tumblr! @ richietoaster
> 
> ko-fi.com/richietoaster


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